I want to be there when you shine. I want to see your passion ignite and set the world ablaze. Your words creating the perfect sanctuary of love and redemption. The starving will flock to you, drawn by the blazing hope in your eyes. You will offer them a home- a place with no suffering, no hurt, no pain and no more loneliness. You will show them the place with no darkness and they will receive the life that will never end. You will love them, and they will love you.

But I don't want to be a shadow. I proffer the poor pearls but you bring to them clear-cut diamonds. I am a star with hopes, and dreams and a fire burning within me wishing to show the world that I- too- really do matter. Even a star is forgotten when next to the sun.  How can I be worth anything when I can only give what has already been received?

We'll live in some far off country. You'll preach to the masses while I stay at home and tell the kids that you wanted to have why daddy doesn't have time for them. I'll weave baskets and wear skirts that collect dirt at the hems, and you'll change the world with your love. When you come home, you'll be exhausted, pour the grime out of your boots and kiss me on the forehead before eating the supper I cooked you. Over the meal, I'll hear about your day and how the people are starting to see the light. The kids will rush up to you and you'll get to love them while they're happy. And at night after you drop off to sleep I'll stay awake and cry softly, trying not to wake you.

I want to be there when you burn. But I don't want to be locked inside a cage beating my wings against bars that I built.